Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're like the curious george of whores
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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