I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
