i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
