need another drink. this is the easiest way
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
