i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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