so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
