what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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