We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
