Nicole vs. Life
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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