Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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