If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
