i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
