...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
