Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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