Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
