Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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