We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
