I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
