my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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