This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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