y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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