I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
