seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
