Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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