"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
