Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize