her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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