you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
