The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
