I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
