I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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