Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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