Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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