i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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