Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
