and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
