So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
