how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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