Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
