At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize