I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize