I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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