If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize