a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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