My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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