What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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