You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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