If that was your dad, he is hot
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
