Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
