ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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