I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
