I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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