I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize