Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
