you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize