Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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