seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
